real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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