He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Everything about him screamed your future.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
