Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
