My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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