Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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