Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
