ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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