I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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