I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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