there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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