everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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