so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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