i just made my gag reflex go away.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
