rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
