Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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