nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
