Don't you send me to vm
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize