dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
