i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
