So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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