The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
