So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
