Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
