AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
