i need an iv and a liver transplant
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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