I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
