at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
