Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
