Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My hand turned me down
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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