it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
