I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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