That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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