i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
