so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
