problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
