Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
