Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize