Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Is that strawberry winking at me??
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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