doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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