We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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