I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
