just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
