On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
