Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
