Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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