You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
BRING THE BAGELS
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
