Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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