i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
