he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
