Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think I died a long time ago.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize