I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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