i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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