Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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