grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
