i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
How does one acquire holy water?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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