I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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