So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
