Don't you send me to vm
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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